As a football fan growing up, though I don’t watch much now and have pretenses to having matured, I still find myself caught up in some of the sport’s drama.  Take Tim Tebow, the celebrated college quarterback widely thought to be unfit to play professionally.

The guy is missing a bunch of core skills associated with success in the NFL.  What he does have is tremendous will: no matter how many mistakes he’s made, he’s committed.  He knows that his actions can always bring victory whether they look pretty or not.  When the going gets tough, he locks in and it’s “Tebow Time.”

As my commitment to compose my weekly spark ran into my desire to read about his heroics Thursday night, I asked myself, Why are you so drawn to his story?  It’s just football.

The insight that came was: deep, deep down, we all want to live a life of commitment and consequence:  There is a huge victory riding on me.  I mustn’t give up.  No matter how many mistakes I’ve made and no matter how high the odds and no matter how awkward my efforts might look, my actions matter and I won’t stop.

Sometimes, though, it’s easier to watch Tim Tebow than to admit that such a life awaits me, too.

So I “ex’ed” out ESPN, asked G-d for insight, and sat down to write this Spark.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

PS: Please join us at

1) Our Annual Gala Wed. Nov. 30 at the Mandarin Oriental (student tix avail.)

2) My Monday night class at 7:15pm prompt (this week: Your Dynamic Duo: You & Your Evil Twin)

3) New Clarity offerings from Tzipora

This is the week that Avraham goes to bat for the not so nice people of Sodom and Gemorah.

“What if there are 50 righteous people in the midst of the city,” asks Avraham.  ”Would you still wipe it out…Shall the judge of all the earth not do justice?”

Avraham is relentless in arguing the region’s merits till he succeeds in preventing execution if only 10 good guys are present.  His case exhausted, he stops and G-d, so to speak, departs.

“Once the advocate became quiet,” Rashi explains, “the Judge departed.”

The inference is noteworthy: all the while that Avraham advocates, the Judge is close by.  We, too: when we make ourselves advocates for our fellow, it’s very difficult for G-d not to be nearby.

I wondered where I see this principle in my own experience and I thought of bedtime.  It’s not easy for kids to let go of their day and retire: there are usually many appeals for a “stay of execution” – “just five more minutes,” “I need the bathroom again…”

On occasion one of my sons will call me in to the room.  I sense my impatience rising.  I want to move on with my night.

“Let me tell you what I like about Moshie and Avraham [his siblings].”  At that moment, it’s quite easy to linger.

We all have cases we are advocating for; may we merit to broaden the advocacy and thereby enter in to a whole new court proceeding.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

PS: Join us at the Aish Center Gala,Wed. Nov. 30, at the Mandarin Oriental! http://aishgala2011.charityhappenings.org/  and me this Monday, 7:15pm: Lucky Coins, Not Stepping on Cracks, & Other Tools for Success.

G-d commands Avraham this week to leave his home and go on a great journey.  To reassure him regarding the effects of such a trip, G-d promises to bless him with abundance in family, wealth, and accomplishment.

What happens?  He arrives in Israel and is met with serious famine.  To save his family’s life, he must flee to Egypt where his wife is abducted and made prisoner to Pharoah.

Huh?  G-d, did we not make a deal?  I go on the journey and You bless me.  I did my part.  Not only did You not bless me, You endangered my family and myself multiple times!

Avraham understands something that is profound yet attainable (and, of course, easier said than done).  G-d designed the world such that blessings are only attained through creating a vessel for them.  How do we create a vessel?  G-d sets us up with life scenarios that challenge us, that require us to trust the wisdom of His plan and embrace its effort as necessary self-transformation.  We change, and thereby become vessels.

I know a woman who became engaged to a man whose parents completely rejected her.  They attempted to break the engagement.  They opposed the wedding.  It was painful.

After a year she confided, “This was one of the best growth experiences of my life.”

“How?”

“Before, I never really had to discover the root of my own self-esteem.  Through her, G-d gave me no choice.  I feel so much stronger and happier.”

He’s not getting in our way; He’s guiding us on our way.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

PS – My new weekly class, Mondays at 7:15, on the Torah portion.  This week: “Only weaklings don’t get tested.”

Our portion begins, “The following are Noah’s offspring; Noah was a righteous man, pure in his generation.  He walked  with G-d.  And Noah bore three sons…”

Rashi is bothered.  If you’re going to introduce Noah’s offspring, don’t then interrupt with a character reference of Noah and only later name the kids; just get to it.

No, answers Rashi.  The character reference is Noah’s offspring.  How?  ”A person’s primary creations in this world are his good choices.”

If you’ve ever been in or seen a woman in actual labor, there’s much profound insight to be had from this statement.   A woman doesn’t choose the timing, duration, or intensity of her labor; it just comes.  As the contractions intensify and repeat, she can focus on the pain and her desire to be rid of it, or on the goal of giving birth and the pain’s indispensable role.

We are all being given opportunities to give birth.  The challenges – unwanted thoughts, unpleasant events,  disappointing reversals – are like labor pains whose timing, duration, and intensity we don’t choose.  But our response to them we do.   How consistent are we in pursuing and reviewing life-affirming wisdom?  awareness of our great blessings? our goals and daily actions that nourish vitality?

Toward that end, I am thrilled to share that I will be starting a new Torah Portion class THIS Monday at Aish, 7:15pm sharp.  Our goal will be to explore the wisdom that will help us welcome the effort of living, stay true to our goals, and thereby give birth to new selves.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

Israeli chemist Daniel Shechtman received the Nobel Prize this week for his discovery of quasi-crystals, research that has “fundamentally altered how chemists conceive of solid matter.”  Quite an achievement.

When he first posed the theory, he was promptly ridiculed, kicked off his research team and the double Noble Laureate and senior chemist of the generation declared, “There are no quasi-crystals, only quasi-scientists.”  That was almost 30 years ago.  How did Shechtman persist?

I don’t want to give “consequences” to my kids this Shabbos.

In truth, I never want to.  I always want to create an atmosphere that helps them enjoy themselves and their responsibilities.  But this Shabbos is different:  the kids are losing their mommy to host a women’s retreat onLong Island.  G-d willing, 60-70 women will accomplish life-changing things.  I want the taste of their partnership to be sweet.

So aside from the special activities and foods, I’m bracing myself to gather patience and forbearance, to remind myself of their goodness and their potential goodness.   They are, after all, partners in a special project.

Our sages teach that this is a key to our judgment on Rosh Hashana.  We ask G-d to “remember us for life” on this day.  This can’t be a “reminder” to G-d (who forgets nothing).  Rather, it’s a reminder to us that memory equals “that which is memorable or important to someone.”

G-d, we ask, help us to live memorable lives, lives that coincide with what’s important to You.  In the merit of that partnership, focus on the good in me, bless me, and smooth my path to being successful.

Are we ready to commit to such a life?

After all, G-d wants the taste of our partnership to be sweet.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

PS – It is NOT too late to join us, the Jacobs, and the Aish team for a super memorable High Holidays: http://www.aishcenter.com/high-holidays

Fighter pilot/Major Heather Penney was ordered airborne September 11, 2001, to stop United 93 from attacking the US Capitol.  The lack of time to load ammunition would require ramming the plane.   At the time, her father was a United pilot regularly flying this route.  Was she on her way to end her and her father’s life?

Jewish law, and our own intuition, justify the ethics of such a violent move.  Soldiers risk their lives or die to stop the enemy; this was war.  United 93 was en route to die.  Hastening their death to save innocents is an obligation.  Heather Penney understood: doing the right thing is worth dying for.

We don’t face such choices often, but we are meant to accept their possibility daily.  Every time we say the Shma affirming G-d’s oneness, a Jew is meant to acknowledge a willingness to die (under some circumstances) to do the right thing.   Would you be willing to die to stop a terror attack?  Thinking so is an affirmation of G-d’s oneness, of eternal values, and our eternal soul.

My teacher, R. Noach Weinberg, obm, points out: If you don’t know what you’re willing to die for, you haven’t lived – life is like a game.  If you are willing to die for something, then even more important is to live for it.  And if you’re willing to live for it, make sure to enjoy it.

May we merit to see the rich value of our lives: doing the right thing is worth dying for, living for, and especially enjoying.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

Reminder: We’re coming in from NJ for High Holidays with YOU! http://www.aishcenter.com/high-holidays

My wife and others dear to me sometimes express frustration with my rigidity about certain things.   A card game with my sons offered an unexpected window into my actions.

We wanted to play Uno, but could only find a regular deck of cards.  So they assigned different Uno functions to regular card numbers: 10 would be “reverse,” 5 “skip,” etc.  Then my son noticed the Jacks, Queens, and Kings.

“Hold on; don’t deal yet.  I need to remove all the face cards,” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because,” he looked at my incredulously. “There are no face cards in Uno.”

“So? We can play with them anyway,” I said. “We’ll pretend they are 11s, 12s, and 13s.”

“Hello,” he said, unconsciously mimicking my manner of speech when I want to emphasize someone’s obtuseness.  ”There are no Jacks and Queens in Uno.”

I fought annoyance with annoyance and we continued on like that for a few minutes until I realized somebody had to give in.  Reluctantly, I let it be me.

Later that night I asked my wife about her thoughts regarding something in our new home set up and shared my preference.

“Are you asking me or are you telling me?” she asked warily.  ”Uno,” I thought.

Judaism teaches that everything in life is an experience of the one G-d, the ultimate Life Coach, who runs the world with both precision and love in order to facilitate our successful journey toward wisdom and character refinement.

This lesson, I realize now, is brought to you by “Uno,” the G-d who is One.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

We’re four weeks from Rosh Hashana.  Shofar blasts have begun.  It’s time for renewal.  But what to do about the nagging voice that accuses, “Can you really change?  Can you keep it up?”

I became aware of those lurking thoughts when my wife pointed out this week a powerful antidote.

“Change can be slow,” she said, “and there will be setbacks.  But learn from Hizbullah and Hamas.  Are they doubting their ability to ‘change’ the world?”

If forces of destruction can adopt resolve, determination, patience and other characteristics conducive to success despite resistance and setbacks, certainly those interested in growth and healing can do at least as much.

This is, in fact, an important principle of Jewish growth: For one who comes to purify, Heaven assists.  For one who comes to destroy, Heaven leaves the door open (Talmud).

It also brings to mind the journal entry of Mohammad Atta written just prior to  9/11:

“Oh God who answers prayers and answers those who ask you, I am asking you for your help. I am asking you for forgiveness. I am asking you to lighten my way. I am asking you to lift the burden I feel. Oh God, you who open all doors, please open all doors for me.”

If that master of terror asks (and receives) an open door to destroy, can we not expect to be guided, assisted, and escorted in our efforts to build and nurture?

May we merit to awaken to the power of new possibilities and all the assistance that awaits us.

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

Our move from New York City to Passaic, NJ (still in progress), has yielded numerous adventures.

“Sara Leba (2.5) locked herself in her room,” my wife said as I walked in the door at 8am.  ”What do we do?”

I looked for a key.  None.  I called owners of the home we’re staying in.  No answer.

“Call Chaverim (“Friends”),” said a neighbor.

I called, described the issue, and within minutes a first and then a second guy arrived.

“What is Chaverim,” I asked as they pulled out tools and played with the lock.

“We’re a help service for Jews who get stuck.  People call a 24 hour dispatcher who texts a group of 25 guys.  Whoever can comes.”

“What’s amazing is that I’m the only guy with lock picking tools,” said the tall one.

“And I’m the only one that knows how to pick locks,” said the short one.

When he opened the door and my daughter walked out, I cried.

It wasn’t that I was so fearful for my child’s well-being; she was peaceful and we could always have destroyed the door.

It was the sense of embrace by caring Jews and the Divine deliverance their entrepreneurship surely catalyzed.  The 26 members of “Friends” could never have planned that tool-bearer/tool-user duo.  But when G-d sees our desire to create exquisite friendship, He wants in.  ”Love your neighbor as yourself,” says the verse. “I G-d [will be your partner].”

Shabbat Shalom,

Henry Harris

PS: Give the gift of life; give blood this Wednesday at Aish: http://www.aishcenter.com/community-blood-drive